Metaboston

Barney Frank Profile

 The New Yorker's profile of MA congressman Barney Frank talks about the financial crisis and Frank's increasingly important role as chairman of the Committe on Financial Services and his role as a gay pioneer for being the first congressman to out himself.  Even the portrait illustration by Martin Schoeller (left) seems very serious. 

But what is more interesting is that Frank is pretty funny, about sex:

... Frank no longer censors his ribald sense of humor. Not long ago, Paul Begala, the political strategist, was speaking at a fund-raiser for a gay-rights group and said, “When I told my father, back in Texas, that I was speaking to an L.G.B.T. group, he said that sounded like a sandwich.” From the audience, Frank called out, “Sometimes it is!”

and about food (and other things):

Frank speaks incessantly about food. In “Let’s Get Frank,” he complains about the low-fat provisions given to Democratic members of the Judiciary Committee during the impeachment debate. Referring to Dick Gephardt, who was the Minority Leader at the time, Frank says, “They got all this jelly-doughnut shit in there, and I gotta eat this stuff. . . . Gephardt’s a sheygets—whaddaya expect from Gephardt?” Sheygets is Yiddish for a male Gentile, and thus one who cannot be trusted to provide acceptable snacks.

He must be a relief there compared to most people in Washington who seem boring at best.

Harvard: Only a Poor Old University

Boston Daily rightly takes an irreverent look at Harvard's handwringing over their still-enormous multi-multi-multi-billion dollar endowment.

"I guess it would be out of line to point out that 70 percent of a $36.9 billion endowment is still almost $26 billion.

After all, their endowment is now only a few billion below where it was in 2006 (pdf). So the aberration might not be the drop but rather the peak of $39.6 billion the endowment did reach in 2007.

Maybe they should start jettisoning their sports teams and athletic department.  There's got to be some savings there in a decidedly non-essential area.

Walden: A Revenge Movie

A funny well-done trailer for an imaginary movie where Henry David Thoreau is an angry vigilante.

John Hodgman 'Celebrates' Massachusetts

John Hodgman reflects on Massachusetts.

I guess that I am from Massachusetts. But I never felt at home there, and, really, no one ever does. There are Texans and there are Minnesotans and even Californians, though that is a state as geographically and culturally motley as the entire eastern seaboard. But no one calls himself a "Massachusettsean," in part because it is impossible to say, and in part because ours is a tradition of exclusion.

***
Another reason I did not feel at home was because I do not like sports. Boston has much to offer any visitor. There is of course a fine symphony orchestra, world-famous universities, and the Mother Church of Christian Science, which has a truly boss reflecting pool. However, if you do not like sports, Boston does not have much to offer you. The local sports teams - which I am told are the Baseball Red Sox, the Football Patriots, the Basketball Celtics, the Hockey Bears, and of course the famous Boston Lobsters of the World Team Tennis League - are an obsession.

Ig Nobel Prizes 2008

The IgNobel Prize 2008 Ceremony takes place tonight at 7:30pm at Sanders Theatre. 

The 18th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony will announce and introduce the ten new Ig Nobel Prize winners. The winners are traveling to the ceremony, at their own expense, from several continents. The Prizes will be handed to them by a group of genuine, genuinely bemused Nobel Laureates, all before a standing-room only audience of 1200 people. Full details and action pictures will appear in the Nov/Dec 2008 issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. The ceremony also includes other wonders.

Unfortunately, the tickets are a pricey $39.

Fortunately, there are two cheaper alternatives.

1. You can watch the webcast of the ceremony for free; and
2. If you want to see the winners in person for free you can attend the Ig Informal Lectures at MIT on Saturday.

Once again, The MIT Press Bookstore is proud to partner with some Improbable friends to bring you a half-afternoon of improbably funny, informative, brief (5 minutes each, plus a few questions & answers with the audience), high-spirited public lectures, in which the new Ig Nobel Prize winners will attempt to explain what they did, and why they did it.

The Ig Nobel Prizes honor people whose achievements have made people LAUGH, and then made them THINK. Ten prizes are given to people who have done remarkable things — some of them admirable, some perhaps otherwise. The Igs are intended to celebrate the unusual, honor the imaginative - and spur people's interest in science, medicine, and technology.

Info:
THE IG INFORMAL LECTURES AT MIT
When:  Saturday, October 4, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Where:  MIT 10-250, 222 Memorial Drive, Cambridge
Cost:  Free

Renaissance Ferret Faire!

Not sure what else there is to say about this.  Two great things put together.

"Take heed that you do not miss this royal event. Many more surprises will be revealed as we near the the date for our celebration to honor King Ranger and present young Queen Tuesday. Renaissance apparel is urged.

Info:
Time:  September 20th, 11:00am - 4:00pm
Location:  Borderland State Park, Sharon, MA
Cost:  $4 + $2 parking

Ahead of the Curve: Inside Harvard Business School with Philip Broughton

Philip Delves Broughton, a journalist, took his experience at Harvard Business School and turned it into a book when his MBA didn't get him a job.  He seems to have some funny anecdotes.

“Many of his peers, he says, hailed from one of the “three M” backgrounds: Mormons, former military officers, and former McKinsey & Company consultants.

As might be expected students are able to turn financial aid programs to their advantage.

“Mr. Broughton also details a scheme for acquiring “financial aid BMWs”: Upon being accepted at the business school, some students deliberately emptied their bank accounts to buy BMWs for themselves. Since they were not required to list vehicles among assets on their financial aid applications, they often qualified for extra financial aid. “So basically, Harvard buys you a BMW” a classmate informed Mr. Broughton.

You can see him at Harvard Book Store on September 4th.

Harvard Square's "Stoned Skateboarder"

Have you been plagued by the "stoned skateboarder" of Harvard Square?

Protesting Protesting in Harvard Square

Any regular visitor to Harvard Square might actually sincerely appreciate this April Fool's event by the Boston Society for Spontaneity:  a protest against protests.

Suggestion for next event:  protesting soliciting or soliciting against soliciting.

Museum of Bad Art Opens Davis Square Branch

The appetite for bad art is relentless so the Dedham-based Museum of Bad Art will open a new branch right by the Somerville Theatre's toilets.  The new outpost will open May 14th.

You can bring bad art into your home now too (if it isn't already there) with the publication of the Museum of Bad Art's Masterworks catalogue.

New Hampshire Fisherman Claims Alligator Attack

Is Melendy Pond in Brookline, New Hampshire, not far from MA, the home of a fugitive alligator?  Probably not considering the water is about 50 degrees but a fisherman claims one attacked him there.

""I don't know how close it was to him," Fish and Game Officer Todd Szewczyk said. "A lot of times when we get reports like this, it's a snapping turtle, not an alligator. I don't know how close it was when it was seen. When the police officer arrived from Brookline, the line was broken off, and he didn't get a chance to see it.""

Zombie Defense Hack at MIT

Dan4th puts up an image (above) of the latest hack at MIT:  text on the chainsaw case:  "In Case of Zombie Attack, Break Glass" 

(Image from Dan4th's Flickr stream).

Steven Wright, Lenny Clarke and a Benefit for Bob Lazarus

Steven Wright (above), Lenny Clarke and other comedic  veterans of the former Inman Square club Ding Ho will gather in May in a benefit for fellow comedian Bob Lazarus who is suffering from leukemia.

Info:
Sunday, May 4 at 7:00 pm
Regent Theatre
7 Medford St. Arlington, MA
781-646-4849
www.regenttheatre.com
Cost:  $45-$50

North American Symposium on Sasquatch Research: April 12

For $20 you can benefit children's writing center 826 Boston and get in touch with the cutting edge of Bigfoot research:

"The Greater Boston Bigfoot Institute (GBBRI) celebrates its grand opening on April 12th , 2008 by hosting the North American Symposium on Sasquatch Research. Co-sponsors of the event are 826 Boston and GOOD.

Experience the terror of an alpine storm in... the Simulactron! Discover a multimedia compendium at the GBBRI Call Center! Outfit yourself with the Institute's Own Jungle Hygiene Kit, Disaster Pod, Monocular, and more! Purchase astonishing wonders like Chupacabra Claws, Baby Giant Centipedes, and Piasa Bird Talons!

Advance registration  is recommended.

Here is the schedule for the evening of April 12th:

• 6:00 – 7:00: Symposium Check-in & Cocktails
• 7:00 – 7:15: Mammalologist Eugene Mirman
• 7:15 – 7:45: “Does Sasquatch Exist?” Panel featuring Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman
• 7:45 – 7:50: Giant Crab Wrestling
• 7:45 – 8:00: Yeti Researcher Author Josh Bearman
• 8:00 – 8:05:: Leech Ballet
• 8:05 – 8:25: Author Jim Shepard
• 8:30 – 9:00: Product Demonstrations & Bigfoot Films
• 9:00 – 10:00: DJ Ripley & Dancing

NASSR Event Speakers:

Eugene Mirman is a Brooklyn-based comedian who regularly tours with his multimedia stand up routines. He is a regular on HBO's Flight of the Conchords, as well as Late Night With Conan O'Brien and Comedy Central's Premium Blend. His first comedy CD/DVD was voted a Best Album by both Time Out NYC and The Onion, and his latest recording was released by Sub Pop Records.

Jim Shepard is the author of six novels, including most recently Project X, and three story collections, including most recently Like You'd Understand, Anyway, which was nominated for the National Book Award and won The Story Prize.

Loren Coleman is the world's leading cryptozoologists and author of over 2000 articles and over 30 books on cryptids and new animals, including Cryptozoology A to Z, The Field Guide to Bigfoot, and Mysterious America. He has been engaged in cryptozoology since March of 1960.

Josh Bearman has contributed to McSweeney's, the Believer, Wired, GQ, Harper's, and This American Life -- all of which is of course overshadowed by his tenure as Editor in Chief of Yeti Researcher.

DJ Ripley spins breakcore, booty bass, dancehall, drumnbass, jungle, ragga, rocksteady, dubstep, baltimore club music, boston bounce, and more. Ripley plays Thursdays in Berkeley, CA at the Guerilla Cafe and is a resident DJ at Suryadub at Club Six. She'll get all the Sasquatches shaking on April 12 after a show Friday night, April 11, at the Milky Way. "

Atwood Tavern's Bacon-Eatin' Contest

Inman Square's Atwood Tavern holds its bacon-eatin' contest.  How much can you eat in 5 minutes?  Mmmm pig!

Catching up with Maine's worst toll evader (allegedly)

What happens if you just drive through the EZPass without one of those little boxes.  Well, in Maine, not much until you get near the 1300th (!) drivethrough.

"Derek M. Theriault, 28, was charged Friday with racking up roughly 1,300 toll-evasion violations totaling $1,797.50, the Portland Press-Herald reported."

Charles Nesson on the Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert confronts Harvard Law prof Charles Nesson over the value of poker in education and in life.

Luis Guzman likes Vermont's Cabot Cheese

The Department: An 'Office'-style parody by Harvard's Government department

The Department:  An 'Office'-style parody by Harvard's Department of Government as the department reels from rumors of a merger with the Kennedy School of Government.  Pretty funny for an inside joke and a good job on getting the feel of "The Office." (via Dani Rodrik's Weblog)

Boston Santacon December 9th (?)

Boston Santacon to be held December 9th (?) at least according to this page.  Santacon is a gathering (often in bars) of people dressed in Santa costumes as another way of celebrating the season.

Location has yet to be announced but signs look hopeful.

To give an idea of the spirit of the event some helpful rules and reminders have been posted:

"Santa's Rules:
Be Jolly.

Santa apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. If you don't have any money, be creative. If you don't have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Already have a Santa suit? Make a spare so Santa can assimilate strangers. Past examples: pimp Santa/Santa garcia/Santa's naughty little helper. Traditional suits can be bought at local party stores or ordered online for $12 and up.

      Santa's Reminders:

The schedule is open to liberal interpretation by Santa. If you can't show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can talk you in later.

Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it). Really - If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on their parents.

      Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not.

Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, and secret service agents, and doesn't break any laws (unless they're stupid and deserve to be broken).

  Bring gifts -- Naughty gifts to give grown ups; nice stuff to give kids.

     Pay your own damn bar tab."             

 

Emerson Reference on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"

Emerson Reference on "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Season Finale:

"In the opening scene, [Rob] McElhenny wears an Emerson College t-shirt that reads "Emerson Football - Undefeated Since 1880."  McElhenny, executive producer and series creator, wore the shirt as a shout out to the Emerson students in a TV Writing class.  Through a teleconferencing hook-up, he spoke to the students on March 27.  Afterwards, students chipped in and bought McElhenny the t-shirt which he wore in the episode"

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" was particularly debased and funny this season so it's too bad the  finale came so soon.

A Gallery of MIT Hacks

A gallery of MIT hacks (pranks). (photo Gabor Csanyi)Edit HTML

MIT Prank: John Harvard as Master Chief from Halo

MIT Prank:  John Harvard as Master Chief from Halo (image from I Heart.Net) (via Digg)

The Onion on Maine's Decision to Give Contraception to Middle Schoolers

The Onion on Portland,  Maine's decision to give contraception to middle schoolers:      "This is outrageous. I think my daughter should have to get pregnant at 13 just like I did."

Zombie March--May 12!

Only a couple more days until the Halfway to Human Davis Square to Harvard Square Zombie March.  Looks like a good weekend for the undead to rise and seek brains.  It's likely to be cool enough for zombies to embrace a 28 Days Later full-speed run as well as the classic Romero slow stumble.

If you miss this one, there's another coming up in July but the route proposed is a marathon:  South Station to Harvard Square.

Customer Service is Fun at Cape Cod Potato Chips

Finding a whole potato in your bag of Cape Cod Potato Chips might be a bit of a disappointment but less so when it begins this entertaining message exchange with the very decent people in customer service at the Hyannis-based food company. 

If you're a fan of their delicious chips, you can visit the factory.

Manny Would Like to Work at Home

"Claiming that a relaxed atmosphere and a chance to create his own schedule would greatly benefit his productivity, Red Sox left-fielder Manny Ramirez has asked team officials if he can play the remainder of the season from the comfort of his own home. 'My client just can't seem to focus in his current place of work,' said Ramirez's agent Greg Genske, noting that Fenway Park's loud, boisterous atmosphere and high-stress, pressure-packed environment are 'not ideal working conditions for anyone' ..." continued at the Onion.

Maine Moose Photo Hoax

This photo of a Maine moose hauling logs currently making the email rounds is actually a Photoshop hoax.  The text purports to describe the benefits and problems of working with a moose:

Mr. Leroux ... cautioned however that there were a few problems with using a bull moose. Come June, when the new antlers start, the new bone is "in velvet" and must itch like crazy as the moose stops every once in awhile and rubs his rack against just about anything to appease the itch. Once, before the brothers learned to tie him of by himself while they had lunch, moose was rubbing his antlers against the hame on the Clydesdale called Jack and got it wedged there for a bit. Jacques said he wished he had a camera as it looked like moose was trying to push Jack over.

The other problem is the rutting season. The brothers learned quickly to leave moose in the barn as he was constantly on red alert in the woods during this time. The brothers are also considering trying this with two females to make a matched pair which would become an instant hit at the Maine Fairs. The trouble with the bulls is their racks. They would be constantly rubbing and hitting each other and yes they would have to be gelded as I just couldn't imagine getting the two bulls anywhere near each other, let alone in harness.

There's a detailed examination of the errors in the photo but interestingly using moose under harness is actually not implausible and there are apparently real photos of it being done in Canada and Alaska.

Tufts' On-Campus '24' Parody

Probably of interest mainly to those with Tufts affiliations, a university parody of '24' satirizes the school as well as the torture-prone show.

Premiere screening: Saturday, April 7 at 8 p.m. in Sophia Gordon Hall and then hopefully YouTube soon after.

Boston Police Destroy Traffic Counter

Boston has been quick to destroy another suspicious object; this time a traffic counter chained to a lamp post.  This has led to further hilarity about the BPD's savvy. (via BoingBoing)

Ali G Meets Noam Chomsky

Ali G interviews MIT linguistic titan and foreign policy critic Noam Chomsky.

"How would you like it if I called you bilingual?"

Walkathon Haters in Boston on the Daily Show

The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl visits Boston to have some fun with one man who is fed up with charity walks (select "Look Who's Walking Too"). (via MR)  To be fair, this follows on more serious pieces on how residents of some cities are growing frustrated by the costs and incoveniences of charity walks as they have become a popular tool for charities and as Eric Crampton points out the waste involved in charity walks compared to cash donations.

Perhaps the solution is to leave Boston and move to Rhode Island.